Where to begin. Blogging about my time in Chalong is almost pointless because so much of what happened is so beyond words.
When most people think of Phuket, they think of beaches. Partying. Great shopping and dining on the cheap. I wanted none of that (okay… maybe the beaches…). I went to a (near) silent meditation/yoga retreat in southern Phuket to take off my makeup and turn off the laptop. Just be quiet. I’m writing an article for a Tokyo publication about all of the whats and wheres, but I wanted to quickly share what I learned about beauty in Phuket, after a few days of spiritual lessons and very healthy living. I won’t get too in depth… these are just the Cliff’s Notes, beauty blog style.
Mind chatter isn’t who I am. I’m underneath all of that. When I enter a quiet state, I can get there. Staying there is the trick. Like in yoga, when I do a headstand, it’s a fine balance, and usually I fall when I think too much about what I’m doing. Taking time and space to be quiet and open up was the most relaxing experience. I feel like I actually might look better because I’m not all tensed up. When I’m at peace I’m in the best possible place I can be. It’s the only time I think I’ve ever truly felt completely beautiful. Not happy, not sad, not wanting, needing, lacking… just —. Just lovely and real and here.
The above said, I’ve learned I’m insecure in ways I didn’t even realize– both inside and out. For me, makeup or medication won’t fix this… but daily wellness seems too. It’s harder and it’s worth it. Eating and sleeping well, daily yoga, and taking really good care of myself makes me feel better in ways no compliment, affirmation, product, or gadget ever could. I still love beauty stuff (let’s not get crazy) but holistic wellness produces the best results, period. I guess I always knew this, but putting it to work in a concentrated time frame really showed me results.
Beauty–true beauty– is ageless, timeless, formless. Sometimes I’ll see older women, gray-haired, crinkle-eyed, grinning ear-to-ear, happy, active, often doing something creative. I think to myself, I hope I can get to that place. I’m using physical descriptions to describe these gorgeous creatures because words cannot capture the energy I want to describe. She’s a person truly at ease with herself. No mask of fear. Just her.
I could go on about true romantic relationships and friendships and family and selflessness, but for the sake of staying on topic, let me just close with this thing my teacher said:
“You know when you’re holding a little puppy? That feeling you get? That’s loving kindness.”
That’s true beauty.